Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Happy 4th of July to all my American friends!! I'm busy packing up and clearing out. I wanted to share what living in Arizona in the summer is like ...

May 30: Just moved to Arizona. Now this is a state that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! It is beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.

June 14: Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshipper.

June 30: Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawns for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

July 10: The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least its kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.

July 15: Fell asleep by the community pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body). Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

July 20: I missed Lomita (my cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car at noon, Lomita had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the upholstery. The car now smells like Kibbles and sh*ts. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.

July 25: The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!! And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.

July 30: Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3 nights now. $400,000 house and I can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?

Aug 4: It's 115 degress. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 85. I hate this stupid state.

Aug 8: If another wise ass cracks "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to strangle him. Damn heat. By the time I get to work the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!

Aug 9: Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and when I sat on the seats in the car, I thought my ass was on fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and ass. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried ass, and baked cat.

Aug 10: The weather report might as well be a damn recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do sh*t for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn desert? Water rationing will be next, so my $1,800 worth of cactus will just dry up and blow over. Even the cactus can't live in this damn heat.

Aug 14: Welcome to HELL!! Temperature got to 118 today. Forgot to crack the window and blew the damn windshield out of the car.

The installer came to fix it and said "Hot enough for you today?" My sister had to spend $1500 to bail me out of jail. Freaking Arizona. What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here??

Will write later to let you know how the trial goes.

4 comments:

Jo said...

Very apt description of AZ in the summer! I've been complaining about FL every summer until I was in Phoenix for a week the middle of June- and know it is certainly not going to get any better for the next few months! My lungs burned and my breath seemed to be just sucked out of me! It was a relief to return to Florida's humid summer where the temperature rarely exeeds the low 90's.

Admire someone who has the courage to live on the edge to the degree you're undertaking. Looking forward to hearing of your continuing adventures in Loreto and elsewhere!

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